No further on the journey to hearing

So I blogged a few weeks back about Cordelia’s hearing after we found out she has severe hearing loss. I was hoping by this point we would be updating everyone with an appointment date for her to see the right people but up to today there is no sign! 

Since we found out about her hearing we have let everyone around her know and made them aware of what the hospital have advised we need to be doing day to day. Nearly all the people who look after Cordy and our close friends and family were quite surprised by what the results had shown. A few people had seen what I’d seen, by me pointing it out as it was happening, but most people put it down to her being a toddler. 

It does make me wonder whether there are more children out there not being picked up because the behavioural side of it being put down to an age thing. This was definitely the case with Cordy as her speech was not affected and it would seem that is something they look for. I was shocked that her childcare providers had not picked up on her hearing with them spending a large amount of time with her, particularly in situations that require her to listen. Having seen footage taken from an activity done in her childcare setting I could pick up straight away on the fact that she hadn’t heard what had been asked of her. 

It’s been interesting to see how her dad and I have reacted to her. At first I felt so sad and guilty that I just wanted to hold her and over compensate for the fact she had this going on in her little world. I’ve come to accept it now that it’s something we are going to have to deal with and messages from everyone have made me believe we can do it. I still have to say to friends and family she can’t hear you if they try and talk to her while she is facing away from us. But for some reason I still have moments of frustration with her. And then I feel really guilty because I know she must be not hearing me but you so easily forget and end up shouting. In those moments where you just want her to do as she is told. I know some of that can be toddler behaviour or threenager behaviour as we will now be encountering. But tonight, as we sit in our lodge on our holidays I feel terrible because we have put her to bed with no dinner because she became unbearable and tired. But I’m sure in there somewhere she just didn’t hear me. 

She runs off, which has always been a Cordy trick, and you go to shout and think oh she can’t hear me anyway. You shout to her and she is engrossed in something else or the TV is on its ridiculously loud level that we now have to listen to and you think she can’t hear me anyway. She is another room and you want her to come in the room you’re in but you think she can’t hear me anyway. I am like a broken record saying to my husband she can’t hear you. Which is why it’s so frustrating that weeks on and we are no further with an answer to what’s going and poor Cordy can’t hear us.

I’ve had a few mummy chats with her, we normally have these in the bath or when we have rare cuddles together. Today was one of those days she woke before her baby brother so I excitedly got into bed with her and had a cwtch (we are in Wales, when in Rome and all that) and we had a chat. I asked her whether she could hear me all the time and she said no, I knew she couldn’t just while we were talking after she had said what 10 ten times! I asked her about school and she said she can’t hear people. It makes me so sad hearing her say it, even though I am aware of the reality so I tell her the Dr will fix it soon. 

I wish I could get them to hurry up, I’ve chased them up but to no avail obviously and all I want is for them to just fix her. Even a temporary hearing aid so she can hear what we are all saying would be better than how it is right now. 


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